scatterbrain

I can’t seem to get my thoughts together today. They’re flitting all over the place. It mirrors my attempt to get to work today, which was a disaster to say the least. Couldn’t decide what time to get up, kept hitting the snooze button, couldn’t decide what to wear, started to make my bed and realized I didn’t have time, insisted on making breakfast even though I didn’t have time, almost ran out of gas, had to travel AWAY from work to fill up and back around. Got to work, realized I did not want to be there, emails that were work related angered me, like “why are you bugging me today?”, got a cute/dirty message from my Australian lover man, made me happy/laugh hysterically, had coffee, couldn’t decide on a snack, bought an egg, had an apple, but the apple wasn’t the right choice. Brought lunch (another thing I didn’t really have time for), but everyone was going out and I was alone and ate it too fast and then was bored. Decided to call my sis, went outside, but then thought it was too hot, then called my friend while waiting for my sis to call me back, found out he’s wanted by the police, slashed his ex girlfriends tires and had an altercation involving a bat and a knife with her new boyfriend, than ran away, and when the police showed up he stayed in his house. He said he was sad, and has been since his best friend killed himself and was thinking about doing the same thing. I just felt lost, I knew my words wouldn’t have an impact on his mindset. I just told him I cared about him, and I’d drive him to turn himself in if he wanted. When I finally talked to my sis, I was on the verge of tears and couldn’t figure out why. I know I miss her, but I usually don’t cry about this, and she’s home next week. But I know when she’s home, it’ll be go go go and I’ll be lucky to spend time with her. I bought myself a puffed wheat square to feel better. I just ate a piece of the plastic it’s wrapped in. Then my ex asked for a spanking for his birthday after I wished him a happy birthday. Currently using a paper clip to hold my hair up as it/ I am a mess. Is it 4 pm yet? I need a drink, but wondering if that is what got me this way in the first place. Oy vey.