mush brain

Another reason I haven’t been writing. I doubt most people want to hear the gooey shit that’s oozing out of my pores right now. It’s pretty surprising/gross, even to me. I mean ‘yay! I’m capable of these emotions’, but at the same time, wow, I have nothing hard hitting, witty or caustic to say. It’s not like I’m a different person, I’m just a ridiculously happy person right now, who thinks and writes crap like:

It’s that happy sigh; you can feel with your whole body. When you wake up and you realize you’re so close you could crawl into the other person if it were physically possible. Sleep is so sweet when it’s in perfect tandem.

Gag. Maybe eventually I’ll get my brain back to solid from it’s current mushy state.

why i've been remiss

I realize I haven't been on here for about a month. Some explaination as to why:

Because, on our first date he knew what I was about. I’d never been with a ‘good guy’ and my patience and my heart work against me even when I know it’s wrong; therefore a prelediction towards sustained emotional abuse. It gave me shivers at how well he could see me. They continue....

Because I’m deliriously happy and don’t feel the need to expel the pain through writing about it here and I want to keep it all to myself because it feels really good.

Because at this moment, everything in my life seems to be shining in a soft rosy glow due to the above, and I have nothing to bitch about.

Because I’m scared to talk about it because it almost seems to good to be true.