peaceful

It took me a while to get used to. Not having a nagging anxiety about ‘what was going on’ all the time. Because when you’re in a good relationship – which I’ve recently realized, I’ve NEVER been in – you don’t worry all the time. It’s so, peaceful, so calm. It takes a while to enjoy that feeling, because you wonder, at first, what you’re missing. You wonder if it’s a certain, spark or chemistry that might be missing that spurred all the rollercoaster emotions you used to associate with a relationship, with love even. It turns out, the ‘calm steady’ is even better than the sense of ‘passion and crazy emotion’, because, instead of being a crazy neurotic anxious person, you can just be yourself. You have more time for things you want to do and enjoy those things much more. You can be more in the moment, enjoying time with friends, because you’re not spending the whole time over-analyzing the last thing he said to extract the exact essence of what exact he MEANT. You free up so much mind space to take on more positive emotions and cultivate doing the things you love and the other relationships you need in your life. Instead of being all-consuming, relationships can be complimentary and enriching to your life. Who knew? I’m a thankful, lucky girl lately.