reveling in eccentricity

It doesn't just take laziness and procrastination to become a hermit. It takes skill. You have to conciously be so conspicuous with your weirdness and anti-social tendancies that people eventually wonder why you would leave your house...aka....enclave of eccentricity. I think this weekend really exemplified my prelediction towards hiding out in my enclave of eccentricity, and in an act of rare generosity, I'm prepared to explain what it takes to feel completely and totally like you don't belong in the company of normal society.

1. Hang out with your parents execessively. Use them as an excuse for any social events you really don't want to attend. People will think that either a) your parents are sickly and that you are simply a dedicated slave daughter or b) you are some wierdo daddy's/momma's girl.

2. Skip going into the office for a full day and spend your time not uttering one word to anyone. You may have trouble speaking and especially socializing after this type of fast, to the point where you're telling the starbucks barista about your broken vaccum and your exploding egg burrito.

3. When you finally decide to socialize, go to a party, make the cursory wierd comments in lieu of small talk and then fall asleep on the couch. When you finally revive from your much more interesting dreams, observe the party from your self exiled spot a good distance away and secretly laugh (or for more oomph, laugh out loud to yourself) at the inane conversation that seems to be entertaining the lot.

Basically, that was my weekend. There was also, some wierd children's theatre thrown in there and sarcastic conversations with seven year olds. Identifying with the gibberish language of a five year old really seals the deal. All in all, the complete package down the road to insanity.

Now to conclude, there are still three things I must be grateful for over the past three days.
1. Seeing my really good friend L dance around in a bee costume. Priceless. And I have video proof for her fortieth birthday.
2. Erratic shopping trip with A. Seriously had major buyers regret, wondering if the purchases would go with my bursting at the seams closet, but of course they do.
3. Not going into work all day Friday and working from home. Does wonders for the soul. Not so much for the social skills.

let's skip the small talk

I don't think I'm built for dating. Maybe there are people who just don't date. Maybe I'm more the short fling/long-suffering relationship type. I mean, my last two relationships/flings were with guys I met at bars and then proceeded to fall head over something for them.

It must be the small talk factor. I mean I like to know that you like cream in your coffee and that you love love love half french vanilla, half coffee at Timmy's, but not usually until I actually care about you at all. And when we first meet, to be honest, I want to know who last broke your heart. How it injured your psyche, permanently. How you view life out of clear, instead of rose colored colored glasses now, making you slightly cynical, meaning you will understand my brand of humour- a little off-centre. Maybe later down the road, when we've just woken up and had some snuggles and decide to hit up a Timmy's for some bagels and coffee (but preferably a cute little café) will I really take notice of how you like your coffee, because by then, I might acutally care.

So maybe I do skip the dating thing. Straight into the intense with the details later, seems to be more my style. So if you're wondering about the blind date this weekend, consider the above some type of rationale for the sad show that ended up with us considering why our friends thought us so pathetic to need some 'help' in the love area. If ever I need some 'help' in the love area, it's staying away from the broke, artistic, unstable types. This corresponds perfectly with my non-dating dating style. So, if you're out there, and you hate small talk as much as I do, perhaps we'll meet some day and head straight into the rollercoaster ride that avoids small talk and heads straight into the life-altering/psyche-scarring stuff.

Three things that I'm grateful for since my last post:
1. Red wine
2. Sunshine and great weather while riding Sunshine this weekend
3. Red wine, my fireplace and Hunter S. = enough down time to assuage/enhance my slight depression over my failure as a dater/small talker.