clothes whore

It's a well known fact that I am a MAJOR clothing whore. Everytime I open my closet, something falls on me. Sometimes, it's something I've haven't seen in a while, and it gives me the opportunity to rediscover it's greatness, or wonder why the hell I would wear something like that it the first place. Oftentimes, it's more of an ambigous feeling. Like, maybe I'll wear it again, most likely not, but I probably need someone to come pry it out of my hands.

Today, I rediscovered a skirt I hadn't worn in about 9 months. It's like getting back together with an ex boyfriend. At first, it's shiny and sweet and why the hell haven't I worn this/done this in so long. Then you wake up with his hairy snoring fat beer belly in the morning, try to mitigate the regret with a nice breakfast and then he, the lazy ass that he is, sticks around till 2 pm playing wii and grunting. I still haven't passed such harsh judgement on the skirt, so it might get another chance in the much nearer future than he ever will.

So if clothing can be equated with sex, the fact that I am not getting any will soon be remedied by a binge of clothing whoreness that my credit card can't handle- or to that end- a spree of window shopping that will surely disappoint (hummmm, crappy one night stands anyone?).

There's only one way to damage control. Keep the tags on for the first couple wears. Don't you wish you could return him after the first couple times?

Three things I am grateful for since my last post:
1. Online shoe shopping.
2. A lack of a sense of guilt for really anything currently.
3. whowhatwear.com

the whore farm

Sooooooo...this weekend was as exciting and as awesome as I thought it would be. My sister and I took off for banff with some baileys and gin in tow and checked in to our cute little hotel. Immediately the prospect of room service was extremely appealing. "Ummm yeah, I'll have a jug of tonic water and some cut limes." At least the guy was cool about it, his only response to ask "Would you like ice with that?". After some scary visions in the hot tub, we set off to the Rose and Crown for dinner. My sis was just sloshed enough to dance with the 'lone wolf' on the dance floor. Quite entertaining. The rest is r-rated and a little bit fuzzy, needless to say, we woke up quite worse for wear.

Looking around the room, you would think a rock band had inhabited it for several weeks. A little embarassed when room service guy #2 came in, as the room also smelled like a bar-or bottle -for that matter. Anyways the excitement for riding suddenly sunk in, but was quickly quashed when the snow report told us that both mountains were closed due to extreme cold weather. That was probably warning number one. Warning number two was when the car almost didn't start. But nooooo we trucked on, and now I have facial frostbite. It's quite attractive, the white blisters look like some exotic form of herpes.

We did have a fun day nonetheless, with some interesting characters riding the gondola with us. Our favorite was the guy convinced that strippers (and the like) came from a whore farm. "They pluck them when they're really little, then they send them to the farm where they learn to be good whores." Seriously.

Sunday we had a photo shoot with my sis, taken by my bestie. It was really cool, and we're giving out the photos for xmas. It has to be a little vain, I mean, "Merry Christmas, here's a photo of me looking ridiculously hot." Sounds like a great gift for my ex. But it was fun, and we continued on to participate in the 12 bars of Christmas. A pub crawl in Kensignton designed to visit almost every drinking establishment in the vicinity. Monday morning was accordingly fun.

Tomorrow is xmas eve, and I have one wish from Santa. All I want for Christmas is my technology back. I now have lost my cell phone as well, thus leaving me alone in the cold with no music (as my ipod is broken too). Sounds like someone needs an iphone. Seriously every year around this time, I lose my phone in a snowbank. Must be a Canadian thing.

This holiday season I am glad for lots of things. The last three that come to mind are:
1. Facebook, because then how else would you get all of your phone numbers back.
2. My family, as even though they are crazy, my mom is out right now buying margarita mix for christmas eve.
3. Yoga. Keeping me sane and limber.

Happy Holidays, I hope you look forward to the party as much as I do!