girl crush

I’ve had girl crushes here and there over the years. Usually it’s a girl I want to emulate because she’s stylish, confident and sure of herself. She seems so perfect, I wonder if there are cracks. And even if I see vulnerability, it’s in such a way that feels so natural, every girl should be vulnerable to these things and not feel shy about it. You can feel it, when you’re around her, that she knows her limitations and possibilities and is fully able to take them by the reins if she wanted to. But she’s successful and happy where she is, and you can feel that confident glow emitting from her when she’s around you. You feel like she’d be comfortable in any situation and be able to talk to any one about anything. It’s like you could insert her into a biker bar or a black tie gala and she’d be totally natural, winning over people from all walks of life.

When I was younger, I wanted to be her, fully. I tried to emulate her style, the cute way she talked with her hands, the funny terms she used for things. Now, I’m just trying to be myself, and emulate my own confidence and happiness, and even on my most dishevelled days, I’m true to myself. Because hoping that people like you and trying to be someone you’re not just isn’t authentic. Being yourself and pleasantly surprised that people like you and not giving a shit when someone doesn’t seems much more real. And luckily, I think my current girl crush likes me back (and likes me for being me!).