heartburn

Not to be mistaken with heartache, I have heartburn. It's this sick feeling that comes from my gut, and burns all the way up. It's the feeling that I created on my own. That's the part that makes me feel sick. No one did this to me, I subjected myself to a sustained situation where I basically gave a minor a license to drive drunk. I knew he couldn't do it, I just really really wanted him to be able to do it this time. So, shame on you the first time, shame on me the second time. But what about the seventh or eighth time? Pure insanity. I'm sick of myself frankly, and sick of what I'm created. If what we did together was a crime, we'd both get a life sentence. At this point, I feel like I deserve it, but feel incredibly lucky I got away.