guy friends

Having guy friends is a tricky business. Having them isn’t so difficult, but really keeping them as friends and not crossing the line can be. Obviously the dynamic between a guy and a girl is different (if they’re both heterosexual), especially if one is attracted to the other, or both have an attraction for each other, but for one reason or another, want to keep it platonic. Or, one does and the other pretends they’re good with it too. There are several categories of guy friends that are characterized by their own nuances:

The guy friend you would NEVER have sex with

This kind of friend is the best. Especially if they would NEVER have sex with you either. If they really want to, they belong in the next category. In my experience, they may be gay and are fun to shop with or you are so unattracted to them, you consider them like a brother to you. Although, don’t tell them to their face that they are like a brother to you and you would NEVER have sex with them. Especially in front of their friends. Not pretty.

The guy friend you’ve crossed the line with and wish you hadn’t

This is tricky to navigate after the fact. If you do stay friends, it’s sometimes awkward and you have to consistently draw boundaries and make it clear that you’re never bumping uglies again. It’s really tough when you spent so much time before you ‘did the deed’ and then after you realize the awkwardness of spending so much time together when they’re not going to get what they want, and you usually have to have a cooling off period for them to latch on to someone who wants to consistently have sex with them and then get back to the ‘friend zone’. I have one guy friend I regularly have to preface every activity we do together with, ‘we’re not having sex’. Consistent messaging is key.

The guy friend you like but don’t want to ruin the friendship by going any further

This one takes some old age to realize. Obviously the former category was quite prevalent in my younger years, until I started to really hate the sinking feeling you get when you wake up and realize you fucked it all up. This category is for the friend who you love to hang out with, like to talk to, find attractive, but would never be stupid enough to take that further, or luckily, they have a girlfriend.

The guy friend that will for sure become something more

This is the type of guy who you become friends with at first, but you know it will become more, and just fizzle out, or become a relationship. You can’t be friends with this type of guy friend without knowing, deep down, you’re on the road to a hook up. It’s naïve. Just handle with care, depending on how you want it to turn out.