swoon

four words: James Franco. General Hospital.
Cheesy at times, but wait till he starts the kissing and suddenly you'd give your right leg to be Maxi and have the horrid job to be on a soap opera and make out with JAMES FRANCO.




Best lines:
"More than a one night commitment makes be break out in a rash."
"Your pants are already halfway down your thighs."
**Le Sigh.

de de de

Does humming make people happy or do happy people hum?

Sent from my iPhone

creating solitude in the 21st century

As someone who doesn't even have a remote control and who gives many people the impression I don't have cable, I have become my worst nightmare: an anti-social, smart phone obsessed girl.

In fact, I just figured out how to blog from my phone and have added a total of 5 applications since I acquired this beast less than 48 hours ago. The reprecussions to my social life are binary in nature and my new appendage is most certainly becoming life-changing.

Yesterday morning, in place of my usual Saturday workout, I sat on my couch for 4 hours giving my thumbs a workout uploading the phone with songs and all my contacts. Instead of actually speaking to anyone on the phone, with the advantage of a plan that has unlimting texting, I can now inhabit a world where face-to-face socialization is scarcely necessary. And when it is occuring, I can be socializing with scores of alternate people at the same time. What happens to monogamous friend-time in this new world?

Instead of enjoying downtime in a relaxing fashion, I can constanly be occupied with the thousands, if not millions is activities available to me through this phone. Bye bye to sitting down with a book. Paper versions are so antiquated. I can upload any book or newspaper on here and read it on my 3 by 2 inch sceen!

And if my real-life plans with friends fall through, and i'm left alone at home? Not alone! Virtually connected to everything with my phone.

And a possible loss of my device?(As many people are aware of my loser tendancies).

I'd most certainly shrivel up and die.

Sent from my iPhone (ie. 21st century crack)

lessons in spanish

Ola! As I have just returned from Mexico, I thought I'd share some lessons I learned while south of the border, indulging in some much needed relaxation, sun & lots of tequila.

1. Eat where the mexicans eat. It's the best food around. Hands down. Wherever the 'gringos' (ie. us white tourists) are, it's likely to have hamburgers on the menu. And hamburgers taste like shit in Mexico.
2. Apparently some men think that showing you pictures of their children will make you swoon over them and possible even make you horny(!?!) and want to hook up with them. This is completely untrue, and the need to run away intensifies after they tell you that their kid was concieved in Alaska. EW.
3. Chillin' in a cougar bar and watching the action go down can be one of the most entertaining activities ever. The barracudas can be a liablity, but once you let them know you're not interested, they will turn to the heavy scent of desperation coming from the rest of the bar patrons and be all over those ladies like a cat on tuna.
4. Happy hour is quite backwards and can get confusing pretty quickly. Instead of 2 for 1 it's 1 for 2 or 2 for 4 and 6 for 12 and before you know it you have a table of drinks in front of you and all you really know is you're probably only paying for half. But you're paying double the next day.
5. Garlic tastes really good when it's cooked. Almost like a baby potato. Easy to mistake the two, especially after a couple of salty dogs. The mistake is quickly revealed the next day, when 7 cloves of garlic emanating from your pores have people feeling from nostalgia for their local pizzaria back home.
6. When you're playing volleyball on the beach in Mexico, right around happy hour, no one wants to play with you when you start dictating rules and formation (hint hint Mr. Hardcore Califonia). Hitting the ball over the net and in the court in any way shape or form should be sufficient. Extra points for the more tequila you've had.
7. Salsa is the best invention ever. It's pretty much a food group unto itself, or it should be. You can eat it in a million ways and at every meal. Picante!
   

Hopefully the tequila still emanating through my veins will provide me with enough zen (sedation) as I re-adjust to reality. If not, it's only a plane ride away.

why fun things are so much better

unfourtunatley, in real life you have to do shit you hate to do. these things are infinitley more 'fun' (if you can even use that word) when you're fucked up, but this is not always possible.

i did a lot of things i hate to do today, such as:

1. folding laundry and putting it away. i've already put it in the wash and switched it to the dryer. why should there be any more steps?
2. standing in line when the person behind me feels the need to invade my personal space. because that always makes the line go faster.
3. doing dishes. that's what the dishwasher is for.
4. getting out of the shower and getting changed in the winter. it's cooooolllldd.
5. phoning people i don't know. like for delivery or appointments. even though I know it's their job, i dunno i just don't like it.
6. dealing with salespeople who ask me if I need help too many times.
7. anything that involves my car and getting my hands dirty.
   
   If anything, these possibly indicate that I need a butler, or a husband, or a wife, or a nanny. But I will settle for enjoying doing the things I like that much more in contrast to the things I don't. Happy Friday!

o la la

This is why you should watch Brothers and Sisters. And he has a very hot french accent.

the dirtbag allure

Most of my friends would agree I have a penchant to be attracted to guys who have a certain look, a certain 'je ne sais quoi'. It's been characterized as being drawn to men who look "homeless"; like a "dirtbag", or "greasy". I do admit to really liking long hair, beards, and tattoos. But there must be more. In an attempt to analyze what this mystery 'thing' is, I have decided to peruse some men who I would 100% fall in love with and why:

I like a guy with some girth to him. I mean look at this guy, he could totally throw me over his shoulder and take me into the woods with him and give me duck mites. And the belly definitley would be awesome to cuddle with. I'm in, Brawny paper towel man.

Personally, I think Justin Bobby is a dick. Wait a second--perfect for me! Look at the hotness that just exudes from his cocky attitude and beautiful hair. The chest hair gives him bonus points. I would definitley ride on the back of his motorcycle.

This is pre-'only by night' album, before they sold out to the man and started making nickelbackesque albums. I can't decide which one is the hottest. But since the guy with the glasses (second from left) still has his hair and glasses I'd totally get busy with him on that hardwood floor with him for not selling out. Extra kudos for the sweet sweet mustache.

It's cliché and he's like forty, but I would still love him when he was sixty five.
What James? You have like three degrees and would probably romance me with some beautiful poems and intelligent conversation? Make room for me on that bed.

You can't tell if he wants to kill you or make sweet love to you. Hot.

Totally out of his mind, bat-crazy. Perfect. I love the cleft lip too. Probably second in line to be as crazy as Joaquin. But Natalie Portman used to date this guy and she's a totally smart woman. Extra points for dressing like everything from an indian guru to jimi hendrix to a 70's pimp on occasion.

Three yeses.

Moral of the story: I just prefer a guy who has a look in their eye like the next thing that comes out of their mouth may be totally wacked out, but is totally and utterly interesting. Clean cut is always welcome (I mean most of these guys have the capability to go that route), but they most certainly have to have the 'je ne sais quoi' that all of the above have.