why fun things are so much better

unfourtunatley, in real life you have to do shit you hate to do. these things are infinitley more 'fun' (if you can even use that word) when you're fucked up, but this is not always possible.

i did a lot of things i hate to do today, such as:

1. folding laundry and putting it away. i've already put it in the wash and switched it to the dryer. why should there be any more steps?
2. standing in line when the person behind me feels the need to invade my personal space. because that always makes the line go faster.
3. doing dishes. that's what the dishwasher is for.
4. getting out of the shower and getting changed in the winter. it's cooooolllldd.
5. phoning people i don't know. like for delivery or appointments. even though I know it's their job, i dunno i just don't like it.
6. dealing with salespeople who ask me if I need help too many times.
7. anything that involves my car and getting my hands dirty.
   
   If anything, these possibly indicate that I need a butler, or a husband, or a wife, or a nanny. But I will settle for enjoying doing the things I like that much more in contrast to the things I don't. Happy Friday!

o la la

This is why you should watch Brothers and Sisters. And he has a very hot french accent.

the dirtbag allure

Most of my friends would agree I have a penchant to be attracted to guys who have a certain look, a certain 'je ne sais quoi'. It's been characterized as being drawn to men who look "homeless"; like a "dirtbag", or "greasy". I do admit to really liking long hair, beards, and tattoos. But there must be more. In an attempt to analyze what this mystery 'thing' is, I have decided to peruse some men who I would 100% fall in love with and why:

I like a guy with some girth to him. I mean look at this guy, he could totally throw me over his shoulder and take me into the woods with him and give me duck mites. And the belly definitley would be awesome to cuddle with. I'm in, Brawny paper towel man.

Personally, I think Justin Bobby is a dick. Wait a second--perfect for me! Look at the hotness that just exudes from his cocky attitude and beautiful hair. The chest hair gives him bonus points. I would definitley ride on the back of his motorcycle.

This is pre-'only by night' album, before they sold out to the man and started making nickelbackesque albums. I can't decide which one is the hottest. But since the guy with the glasses (second from left) still has his hair and glasses I'd totally get busy with him on that hardwood floor with him for not selling out. Extra kudos for the sweet sweet mustache.

It's cliché and he's like forty, but I would still love him when he was sixty five.
What James? You have like three degrees and would probably romance me with some beautiful poems and intelligent conversation? Make room for me on that bed.

You can't tell if he wants to kill you or make sweet love to you. Hot.

Totally out of his mind, bat-crazy. Perfect. I love the cleft lip too. Probably second in line to be as crazy as Joaquin. But Natalie Portman used to date this guy and she's a totally smart woman. Extra points for dressing like everything from an indian guru to jimi hendrix to a 70's pimp on occasion.

Three yeses.

Moral of the story: I just prefer a guy who has a look in their eye like the next thing that comes out of their mouth may be totally wacked out, but is totally and utterly interesting. Clean cut is always welcome (I mean most of these guys have the capability to go that route), but they most certainly have to have the 'je ne sais quoi' that all of the above have.

directionless? rock on.

sometimes people (usually older adults/A++++ type people/your parents) ask you where you see yourself in five years.

five years?

i don't even know where I see myself tonight. or this weekend. or next week. or next month.

i mean i do see myself doing some key things:

-partying

-trying to have a good time

-chillin

-eating some meals

-rocking some cool outfits

-reading some good books

-travelling

-talking/hanging out with my rad friends

-flirting

-getting laid (fingers crossed)

-all the other little things that make me happy/amused (ie. not waiting in line for coffee, reading the paper before I go to work, eating rawkus breakfasts, not eating eggplant, dancing, drinking red stripe, etc...)

i've heard that us gen xers need to 'get a life', 'grow up' ecetera, ecetera. but really when will your life ever be as comittment free as to be exhorbitantly selfish ever again? i'm not invested in a career. this is my time. i can think about what i like to do. and maybe it's sad that i have no real long term goals, don't see myself growing up, and don't really even care if i have the same job and live in the same city in six months or a year.

when i was in elementary school, i had goals: to get the other girls to like me and to get to junior high alive. (and secretly, to become a catholic saint???)

when i was in junior high, i had goals: to get the boys to like me (and still the girls), to experience all the new 'bad' stuff as fast as possible, and to get to high school.

when i was in high school, i had goals: to do as many 'bad' things as possible without getting caught, to get the boys to like me (and still the girls), and to do well enough to graduate and to get into a cool university.

when i was in university, i had goals: to party as hard as I could and still manage to get a degree, and have fun while doing it all.

now, i have a job (supposed next step), and i don't have goals (other than the ones above, but those are more action items). but, i'm cool with that. it means the next step could be doing anything: travelling, having a real-ationship, getting fired, going back to school, eating a pb & j sandwhich, tripping on acid. really the possibilities are endless when you have no plan, and no plan to plan. rock on.

P.S.- I've noticed as of late, my blog is really word heavy. So, as a tribute to rocking on, above is my Jimmy who rocks, and who, i would love to rock his world.

bed breaker

make no mistake. i'm not a virgin bed breaker. i'm also not a heifer. so let's go with...energetic. i like some adventure, and if it means mystery bruises and broken furniture, i'm there.

but, i feel different about this one. i can't get it/him, out of my mind. mostly the cadence of his voice. like a fast but slow way of speaking. kind of musical. it had a beat. a very happy beat.

the whole way he carried himself had the beat. so refreshing to be around someone who clearly cares about his friends and even strangers and is genuinely kind.

it was fun. really, really fun. but i can't dwell on my bed breaker partner in crime. the sound of the beat will fade and maybe i'll forget the sound. but i hope i still remember the fun, crazy night, destruction and all.


P.S.- i discovered a new blogger today and she says something i think every girl should remember:
"in a perfect world, you'd only be having sex with guys who, if they accidentally got you pregnant, you might not even consider an abortion." genius.

you're so crazy it's funny

how refreshing! I hear the c-word (or it's synonyms) used a lot, but never like this.
Usually it's...
"I can't even believe what you did last night, that was insane." So, I got kicked out of a bar for breaking some glasses and getting it on in the bathroom. Get over it.
or,
"Are you crazy?" Is that really that crazy to get pulled over by a cop car while wearing lingere at 3 am? I got out of that ticket, that's for sure.
or,
"I chased after you for six blocks after you stormed out of a cab after making a scene at the club, are you out of your mind?" That person was probably pissing me off in the first place, no wonder I wanted to get away.
or,
"I can't believe you asked me to get it on with you on top of a cop car. Are you insane?" I thought it would be fun to get arrested that way. What a party pooper.

But I liked this particular one. I recived it via text last night, and it really made me smile this morning. The sender is pretty off his rocker himself, so I guess it takes one to know one. And at least he doesn't take it too seriously. I've had to deliver warnings to new dates about my behavior being percieved as off-kilter (you could say), but i like when someone gets it. It's just part of my temperament. Love it or hate it, better to take it lightly and laugh.

of dying of the heiney, and other things.....

the whirlwind that has been october so far reminds me of my current thought process. so much is going on, the focus becomes split second. adjusting the lens, it becomes clear for a moment and then reverts to a blurry approxmiation of what i'm seeing. the reflection of my fragmented thoughts is as follows:

-i could very well die tomorrow of the heiney (H1N1), if so, i want to be high on acid. this way i'll have no idea what's going on (or it could be ten times trippier, but whatever, i wanna go out with a bang).

-i tend to pursue really toxic boys. i feel like it's that cocktail party where the nice normal coversations make you nod off. but then, someone starts going off on how twizzlers were actually invented by the japanese back in the 5th century, and you know they're totally off their rocker, and it's fun. way funner than a diatribe about how Obama should have or shouldn't have won the Nobel Peace Prize. snore. it happened. get over it.

- i really like dancing by myself in public. especially when there are smoke machines.

- getting drunk is overrated. getting to the point where you feel you can't get drunk but then everyone tells you that you were, in fact, probably quite inebriated, is way funner.

-my family is really fun. if you wanna have a party, invite two or three of us, and it's on. Case in point: Thanksgiving. What began as a hungover morning with Bailey's and coffee and five recipes and raw ingredients, ended as a perfectly executed turkey dinner proceeded by a rawkus impromptu dance party.

-the pizza joint is the best place to be at the end of the night. there is always something entertaining happening. some guy could say you're a scary crazy person and try to make out with you in the same sentence.

-skinny fat is the new black. essential for winter. camouflaging. if i die of heiney tomorrow, i don't want to deny myself my mom's banana chocolate chip muffins. plus, it's too goddamm wintery out there to work out (minus the dancing/dance parties).

-if you don't check your mail for a couple of weeks, maybe you don't have bills to pay. (plus, when i die of the heiney, i won't have to pay them anyways).

- over analyzing anything takes the fun and spontenaiety out of it. let it go. live now. (you might die of the heiney tomorrow).

-if you enjoy the things you have, you won't miss the things you think you need but don't have.

of course, i could go on and on. but here ends the prothetizing of a hybrid brothers grimm/wacked out philosopher. i know the whirlwind will end soon, and I will most likely experience nostalgia for the fast pace, but hopefully, i will relish the time for reflection on what has been a very fractured and schizophrenic existence.