the whirlwind that has been october so far reminds me of my current thought process. so much is going on, the focus becomes split second. adjusting the lens, it becomes clear for a moment and then reverts to a blurry approxmiation of what i'm seeing. the reflection of my fragmented thoughts is as follows:
-i could very well die tomorrow of the heiney (H1N1), if so, i want to be high on acid. this way i'll have no idea what's going on (or it could be ten times trippier, but whatever, i wanna go out with a bang).
-i tend to pursue really toxic boys. i feel like it's that cocktail party where the nice normal coversations make you nod off. but then, someone starts going off on how twizzlers were actually invented by the japanese back in the 5th century, and you know they're totally off their rocker, and it's fun. way funner than a diatribe about how Obama should have or shouldn't have won the Nobel Peace Prize. snore. it happened. get over it.
- i really like dancing by myself in public. especially when there are smoke machines.
- getting drunk is overrated. getting to the point where you feel you can't get drunk but then everyone tells you that you were, in fact, probably quite inebriated, is way funner.
-my family is really fun. if you wanna have a party, invite two or three of us, and it's on. Case in point: Thanksgiving. What began as a hungover morning with Bailey's and coffee and five recipes and raw ingredients, ended as a perfectly executed turkey dinner proceeded by a rawkus impromptu dance party.
-the pizza joint is the best place to be at the end of the night. there is always something entertaining happening. some guy could say you're a scary crazy person and try to make out with you in the same sentence.
-skinny fat is the new black. essential for winter. camouflaging. if i die of heiney tomorrow, i don't want to deny myself my mom's banana chocolate chip muffins. plus, it's too goddamm wintery out there to work out (minus the dancing/dance parties).
-if you don't check your mail for a couple of weeks, maybe you don't have bills to pay. (plus, when i die of the heiney, i won't have to pay them anyways).
- over analyzing anything takes the fun and spontenaiety out of it. let it go. live now. (you might die of the heiney tomorrow).
-if you enjoy the things you have, you won't miss the things you think you need but don't have.
of course, i could go on and on. but here ends the prothetizing of a hybrid brothers grimm/wacked out philosopher. i know the whirlwind will end soon, and I will most likely experience nostalgia for the fast pace, but hopefully, i will relish the time for reflection on what has been a very fractured and schizophrenic existence.
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