peter pan brain decoded

I think I finally get it. It’s about you. I call you back, I think you want to maybe, I dunno, see how my week is going (because it hasn’t been that great and it’d be nice to talk to a friend). But no. I woke you up from your nap and you wanted to see if I wanted to go to a movie with you, but I can’t so you’ll call me back. Guess what. You didn’t.

This crystallized male psychology for me. You buy me drinks, lavish attention on me all night? That’s because there’s something (possibly) in it for you at the end of the night. You know, if you play your cards right, make me think you like me, you’ll get some. I invite you golfing, you say sure you’ll come. All you have to do is show up. And you like golf, so really it’s a win-win for you.
You really don’t put more stock in our encounters than this. Women analyze every sigh, twitch and eye movement, while for you, every move you make, you think about you. What’s in it for you. Is it easy for you. If you listen and pretend to be sympathetic for two minutes, maybe I’ll go to a movie with you. And that’s what you wanted to start out with anyways.

Although it may be percieved as a cynical perspective, and may paint me as bitter and pessimistic, I really do think the only thing you need to figure out about guys is what their motivation is behind what they do, and their motivation is themselves. Even when a guy is ‘interested’ in you, he is really just interested getting you to like him. Because, really, guys are just like girls, they don't want to be alone and want to be validated for who they are and loved. But they go about it wayyyyy differently than we do. We give love to get love. They hoard it until we coax it out of them, until they are positive that they can't lose. Even if there is no motivation, their needs are always at the forefront of their minds.

Just to clarify: The above revelation only applies to those boys us 21st century women have to deal with who seem to have ‘Peter Pan Syndrome’; an unwillingness to take responsibility or be selfless. My father – not of the above generation, obviously – would be over to my place in a new york minute if I needed anything. Even if it meant cutting into his scotch and cigar time. I also have married male friends who seem to get it.

The moral is that ‘he’s just not that into you’, because, he’s into himself. So no need to analyze every move ladies, just remember he’s thinking about him, even when he’s eyeing you.