http://www.eyeweekly.com/article/55882
...feel this way lately. Way to get out of the rut? To each their own.
Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alone. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
yes, you can run away from a birthday!
So I'm off to Vernon this weekend for some poudre sauvage, or as a friend coined it; "More powder than Kate Moss has ever seen". For once, at least I'm anticipating the lonely feel on my birthday, and perhaps even feeling like a contributor. So not a powerless feeling at least. I've absenced myself from the expectations that my friends will rally around me on that day, and am aware that the other half of my family is halfway around the world. So there. You can run away from a Birthday. I can be 23 for at least one more year!
My parting three things I'm grateful for as a 23 (version A) year-old girl:
1. The presence of hilarious and inspiring company on Tuesday night.
2. The anticipation of a short but needed vacation from my life.
3. The friendship of a brillant artist in my life who makes images that can make daddies cry.
PS-My letter got published in the post yesterday. Boo ya Barbara Kay!
My parting three things I'm grateful for as a 23 (version A) year-old girl:
1. The presence of hilarious and inspiring company on Tuesday night.
2. The anticipation of a short but needed vacation from my life.
3. The friendship of a brillant artist in my life who makes images that can make daddies cry.
PS-My letter got published in the post yesterday. Boo ya Barbara Kay!
Monday, January 5, 2009
new year?
Does it feel like a new year to you? Because it doesn't feel like one to me. Change is constant. And as I just returned from a trip to visit family in Saskatchewan (did you even know it could reach -53 degrees celsius?) I observed some changes that I'm proud of (which I will cover in my top three today) while visiting with family there.
I wanted to discuss coming out of the closet. The blog closet, I mean. Not one person reads my blog presently, which means it is essentialy a diary- i'm writing to myself- or no one. I'm a closeted blogger because;
a) I don't really feel comfortable with anyone reading my daily musings; which may or may not be inconsequential but most likely are, and
b) why should anyone care what I think; it feels quite vain to expect anyone to care.
So for now, I remain in the closet. Should my writing miraculously improve or my self worth skyrocket suddenly, that may change, but for now, I'm writing for me to prolong that hour before the breakdown.
So to conclude, three changes I'm proud of this year:
1. I no longer feel the need to contribute to every conversation. Meaning, I'm okay just listening and evaluating without that anxious, itchy feeling that the group must must must know what I think about the subject as well.
2. I no longer feel lonely being alone, or feel like a loser if I'm not with friends every day of the week. I relish alone time with my book.
3. (Now this one I'm not so sure if I'm proud of, but it sure makes my life easier) I can last a whole day doing only one or two things at work and it doesn't feel like an eternity. (Otherwise my life would be hell, because my job is the converse of intellectually stimulating and doesn't expect a large or high output, unfortunatley).
I've coasted into complacency- which needless to say is the same as coasting into the suburban mickey d's drive through in your mini van with your two munchkins, on the way to soccer practice thinking about what kind of curtains you really want in your dining room and if the kids will just pull them down after two minutes and if you have enough time to do those 15 cupcakes before the school event tomorrow. All while wearing your Northern Getaway tummy stretch panel jeans and the 'funky' bejewelled t shirt in burgundy and that frosted pink lipstick the lady at lancome told you looked 'young'.
Quelle horreur. Seriously, you might as well take me out to the pasture and shoot me.
Happy 2009!
I wanted to discuss coming out of the closet. The blog closet, I mean. Not one person reads my blog presently, which means it is essentialy a diary- i'm writing to myself- or no one. I'm a closeted blogger because;
a) I don't really feel comfortable with anyone reading my daily musings; which may or may not be inconsequential but most likely are, and
b) why should anyone care what I think; it feels quite vain to expect anyone to care.
So for now, I remain in the closet. Should my writing miraculously improve or my self worth skyrocket suddenly, that may change, but for now, I'm writing for me to prolong that hour before the breakdown.
So to conclude, three changes I'm proud of this year:
1. I no longer feel the need to contribute to every conversation. Meaning, I'm okay just listening and evaluating without that anxious, itchy feeling that the group must must must know what I think about the subject as well.
2. I no longer feel lonely being alone, or feel like a loser if I'm not with friends every day of the week. I relish alone time with my book.
3. (Now this one I'm not so sure if I'm proud of, but it sure makes my life easier) I can last a whole day doing only one or two things at work and it doesn't feel like an eternity. (Otherwise my life would be hell, because my job is the converse of intellectually stimulating and doesn't expect a large or high output, unfortunatley).
I've coasted into complacency- which needless to say is the same as coasting into the suburban mickey d's drive through in your mini van with your two munchkins, on the way to soccer practice thinking about what kind of curtains you really want in your dining room and if the kids will just pull them down after two minutes and if you have enough time to do those 15 cupcakes before the school event tomorrow. All while wearing your Northern Getaway tummy stretch panel jeans and the 'funky' bejewelled t shirt in burgundy and that frosted pink lipstick the lady at lancome told you looked 'young'.
Quelle horreur. Seriously, you might as well take me out to the pasture and shoot me.
Happy 2009!
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