i got a promotion. then i cried.

The piscean roller coaster never fails to amaze me. After six months of hard fought lobbying for a promotion to match what I was already doing, I got it. Then I cried. Out of happiness, you might think. But no. Sadness. Of how anti-climatic it was. How I had no one really to share it with. How more money doesn't equal more happiness for me. How I still really hate my job. How everyone acts like I do so much, but the brainpower needed to do it is in the low percentages. And so on.

So, I went out and bought a ridiculous pair of shoes. Then I heard my neighbours above me having sex. But I didn't care. 'Cause the shoes are hot. Really really hot, and they were steaming up my front hall with their hotness.

Three things I'm grateful for since my last post:
1. Recognition (and compensation) that I don't need babysitting at work anymore and haven't for a long long time.
2. A good friend to help me shop, and therefore, spend some of the new moola.
3. A beautiful sunny day yesterday and a nice walk home from downtown (and that my house didn't flood like half of the others in my neighbourhood).

get me outta here

So, if you haven't noticed, I really hate my job. I feel so numb and stupid and frustrated with people today that I applied for two grad schools. I don't care if I'll be in debt till I'm 90 at this point, I just think my tolerance for stupidity has completely disappeared.

So today, even though it's really hard, I'm gonna take at stab at the three things that made me happy in the last 24 hours:
1. The prospect of being able to quit this 'profession' in less than 9 months. Like gestating a secret baby that no one knows about but when it shoots out they'll be shocked because they didn't even know you were pregnant.
2. Going home last night and hibernating. Doing relatively nada (of course making sure everything was put away from my trip because I'm a little bit of a crazy anal retentive person) by myself, and finishing off by curling up with a book in bed.
3. Having time this morning to have a healthy breakfast and read my paper. It was beautiful. *tear

Dickens had it right:
"Eccentricities of genius." Let's hope.