free from the closet monster

I'm attempting a renewed effort to write here. I feel like it's good practice, if I want to develop a 'style'. Unfortunatley (or fortunatley, depending on your view), as a pisces, style is fluid. I notice it most in the way I dress- biker-ish chick one day, professional and polished the next. I feel I can assimilate into any environment, and differentiate when I want to. Would it be vapid and vain to discuss style for a quiet moment? The rhetorical question begs an evaluation of your view of style as an intellectual entity. The girl who cleaned my closet last week (I got rid of FOUR large garbage bags full of clothing- some I haven't worn since Junior High), has a definite position on style. She says that "how you present yourself is a reflection of how you're feeling inside". I have to say that minimializing the clutter in an area I consider important (my closet- the doorway to how I'm feeling), has almost lifted a weight off of me. I can focus on other things now. Shopping (one of my favorite activities) has been revitalized for me. I know what I have, what I need, and what I want. I'm more efficient at it, therefore I don't have to do it as much, I don't feel obligated to buy, and when I do, I know it's really something I need/want.

Basically, I've been blessed with some clarity in that area of my life. It leaves me time to focus on other things, and leaves me less frustrated in the morning.

So, for this week, I want to focus on writing- and make an effort to veer away from the vain and vapid. I want to experiment with style.

Three things I'm grateful for since my last post:
1. The closet clean. AMAZING.
2. Finishing my article-judgement/discussion comes Thursday.
3. A quiet weekend. Bless!

Below are photos, of my organized, color coded closet:

i got a promotion. then i cried.

The piscean roller coaster never fails to amaze me. After six months of hard fought lobbying for a promotion to match what I was already doing, I got it. Then I cried. Out of happiness, you might think. But no. Sadness. Of how anti-climatic it was. How I had no one really to share it with. How more money doesn't equal more happiness for me. How I still really hate my job. How everyone acts like I do so much, but the brainpower needed to do it is in the low percentages. And so on.

So, I went out and bought a ridiculous pair of shoes. Then I heard my neighbours above me having sex. But I didn't care. 'Cause the shoes are hot. Really really hot, and they were steaming up my front hall with their hotness.

Three things I'm grateful for since my last post:
1. Recognition (and compensation) that I don't need babysitting at work anymore and haven't for a long long time.
2. A good friend to help me shop, and therefore, spend some of the new moola.
3. A beautiful sunny day yesterday and a nice walk home from downtown (and that my house didn't flood like half of the others in my neighbourhood).

the piscean roller coaster

Pisces are known to adapt to many different situations. They're also known to be emotional/moody. Seriously this blog can probably serve to document my apparent bi-polarness. Because tomorrow is friday. And I feel a lot more hopeful than I did on tuesday. Perhaps it's because I actually did some things at work today. Then again, maybe I just woke up on the righter side of bed.

I've been making an effort to call friends in Vancouver this week, and so far I think I've done quite well. It's wierd, I have this aversion to long phone conversations, but as soon as I'm done speaking with one of my friends, I always feel better. Perhaps this is simply a symptom of the texting generation- the more succinct, the better. But I've never had a real emotional text conversation really- except one incident where an ex told me he was hurting just as badly for another girl as I was for him, so he 'sympathized' with me. It's too hard when you can't hear the intonation and the tone of voice the person is speaking in. I mean, how was I to know if the 'sympathy' was sarcastic or sincere? Nonetheless, I think my age group is on the cusp, but I think this is what younger generations are turning to for those intense emotional moments. Isn't it easier to break up with someone remotely than to their face? It creates a disconnection and I think, more willingness to play games with people's emotions. You can't really suffer the reprocussions of your actions if you don't see a person's reaction and are affected by it.

I digress, but connecting with people is something I'd like to improve on, and perhaps that's why my week is looking up- I have several rendezvous with a few friends I haven't seen in a while this weekend.

So three things that I'm grateful for in the last 24 hours are as follows:
1. A colleague at work transferred all of my music from my ipod onto my computer (now I won't have to worry if my zombie, back from the dead ipod finally dies).
2. A professor I was worried about getting a recommendation for grad school from emailed me back within an hour of my request!
3. Haven't seen a movie in a long time, and last night saw 'The Reader' with my mom. Was a great film, really made you think. (and cry....)