I was sad to leave. I felt like I’d dropped out mid-sentence, just when we were getting to the verbs. I went back to Dublin to meet my girlfriend and my mood was less than ebullient. I felt bad and tried to turn it on for her, but I couldn’t shake the comedown from such an awesome experience. I had to go back to where my sister lived immediately after, as we had tickets to a show in London later that week.
Off to Edinburgh for the weekend, I had again, a couple of days to kill before going back to the UK for my flight home. We’d been texting, and drunkenly I asked if you missed me and if you wanted me to come back. You said you did, but were starting classes and couldn’t be with me during the day. I assured you I’d be fine, and booked a flight for the next day. When you picked me up at the train in Sligo, the sun was just setting over the town, and I wondered how our reunion would play out. After some witty banter about me being Batman (because of my sunglasses and penchant for wearing black), versus you being my sidekick Robin, things were very much playing out as they had left off.
Stopping for some Chinese food on our way to another remote country cottage, we saw a tractor parked in town as I pondered what Chinese food would taste like in small town Ireland. I had bought some bottles of wine during my one night stay in Dublin before taking the train, and our picnic complete, we took off into the sunset, driving through dirt roads on the emerald green fields in the countryside. Wowed by yet another beautiful view of the remote and rugged terrain, I had some trouble concentrating on our conversation, but you made it easy, and before long we'd made it to another cute country cottage.
Greeted by yet another friend of yours we made ourselves at home in the chill and the candelight of our 17th century cottage, bereft of electricity. We cuddled a bit and watched TV while visiting with your friend after dinner, and then retired to our room, which you had fitted out with dozens of tea lights, which you kept in your car? Impressed at your preparedness, I knew what to expect, but those expectations were totally surpassed in that little country cottage.
The next day after dropping me at Sligo for the day, we met up after your classes at a pub in town. I had already made quite a few friends, and could tell you were jealous. You swaggered in and sat right down beside me, as the occupant was in the loo. I smiled and told you you couldn’t sit there, and you grabbed me and asked me if I wanted to get out of there with you. Did I ever. We went for dinner at a little Italian place, and shared a dish, our aspirations, dreams, and what we thought we’d be doing at this time next year. It made me sure I was going to have an even harder time leaving the next day.
We couldn’t wait to get back to the cottage and made like high school kids in the back of your station wagon on an abandoned road in the country as the sun set. Continuing our party at home, we opened the blinds to reveal a backdrop of stars, clear as day without city lights. I could feel time running out. I hardly slept, wanting to hold those last few moments in my hands, feel your arms holding me from leaving.
I had to catch the train early the next day, and groggy in the dawn, you held me from going. We were almost late, but we made time for breakfast at a cute little café, and I gave you my email address. Deep down, I knew it would peter out, but I didn’t want to believe it.
When I got back to my sister’s place, I cried. Had I just left the best thing I’d ever had? I would never know. We didn’t have enough time. But the time we had was amazing. I think about it fondly, whenever I’m down and out and wondering where Mr. Right might be. Because I know there are amazing guys out there like you, and that gives me hope.
I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, Lawrence, and I just want to thank you for being so good to me. I don’t find it very often, but I did that day in that crowded bar in Dublin, and you gave me the experience of a lifetime.
xo
A
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