lockdown

Just giving away the milk has not been working for me lately. obviously. I'm a girl who likes to have fun, doesn't really know the meaning of no, and only sees when she's gone too far in hindsight. How would I even know if I got what I asked for for Christmas if I can only see looking back and not when it's right in front of me. What does this mean, literally? I think, trying to only give my milk to the right milkman when I know it's the right milkman. A little dribble now and then to a milkman who feels the same as I do - unpropriatry - i think is okay. I'm not going to flog myself for this. But i don't want to be a dry cow and put out to pasture before I'm thirty. A little far with the analogy, I know. I want to see straight, basically, and I can't see anything with all these little distractions in front of me. If the lockdown helps me to have a clearer perspective, I'm all for it. Of course, old habits are hard to break, and I only hope I will persevere in this endeavor. Not calling this a New Years resolution, 'cause it's not New Years yet; calling this a small kindness to myself (dependant on the outcome). Let's see what happens..........